I think transparency is important. I started performing shows and releasing music as Sikes all the way back in 2007. Depending on what angle you are looking at it from I suppose you could say that I'm not much further ahead than where I was when I first started all those years ago but I've still managed to grow into a person that I'm happy to be. I've dealt with my fair share of “growing pains” and have a resume full of miscalculations but some people are just slow learners I guess…

10 years is really just a track about my experiences of learning how to take hits and keep getting back up. Assuming responsibility for those stumbles and remaining persistent with my vision. These days I just try to stay grounded in and remember is that it's actually a lot easier to dance when it feels like nobody else is watching you.

TIME 3:38 
BPM: 160

SAMPLES: 
JOHN CARPENTER - HERE COME THE STORMS
ANYA MARINA - AFTERPARTY AT JIMMY’S

01. 10 YEARS

10 YEARS AIN'T A WHOLE LOT CHANGED

OH NO - HERE WE GO AGAIN
ANOTHER YELLOW BRICK ROAD TURNED INTO A DEAD END
NEVER ONE TO HAVE THE TOLERANCE OF KEEPING UP WITH TRENDS
BUT I'VE PROVEN UNBREAKABLE NO MATTER HOW HARD THE BENDS
10 YEARS AIN'T A WHOLE LOT CHANGED
WROTE A WHOLE LOTTA CHAPTERS ON A DRY ERASE SLATE
WIPE IT OFF EVERY SEASON - RENOVATE THE CAGE
WITH A WHOLE LOTTA BITTER BLOOD RUNNING THROUGH MY VEINS

SAW A FACE AT A PARTY - HADN'T SEEN IT IN A WHILE
ASKED WHAT I BEEN DOIN - I SAID MUSIC - HE SAID “WOW!”
”ARE YOU REALLY STILL SAILING THAT SHIP?”
ASKED HOW IT WAS GOING WITH SMIRK ACROSS HIS LIP
10 YEARS - AIN'T A WHOLE LOT CHANGED
BUT I BEEN FOLLOWING MY PASSION - TELL ME, CAN YOU SAY THE SAME?
YEAH, THINGS ARE GOING GREAT - HOW ABOUT YOU?
THE CRICKETS IN HIS TIMBRE TOLD ME THERE WAS NOTHING NEW

SOME PEOPLE GOTTA LOTTA NERVE BUT YOU GOTTA KEEP YOUR COOL FROM BEING DISTURBED
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP - STAY STRONG - STAY TOUGH
GRAB LIFE BY THE THROAT - YEAH, I HEARD IT LIKES IT ROUGH

OH NO - HERE WE GO AGAIN
WROTE A BUNCH OF NEW SONGS GUNNA PLAY EM FOR MY FRIENDS
PUT OUT A COUPLE MEMOS BUT THE MESSAGE NEVER SENDS
YEAH THEY'VE PROVEN UNNOTICED NO MATTER HOW SPONSORED THE DENTS
10 YEARS AIN'T A WHOLE LOT CHANGED
INJECT FRESH VENOM ON THE SAME OLD STAGE
REALIGN THE STRUCTURE - REIGNITE THE FLAME
BLOW THE DUST FROM ALL THESE LOTTERY TICKETS OFF OF MY CHANGE

SAW A FRIEND THE BAR - I SAW EM LAST WEEK
AT THE SAME PLACE SITTING IN THE SAME EXACT SEAT
ASKED WHAT I BEEN DOING - I SAID “YOU OUGHTA KNOW…”
”GAVE YOU A FLYER FOR A SHOW 5 DAYS AGO”
10 YEARS - AIN'T A WHOLE LOT CHANGED
THE WAY PEOPLE SUPPORT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIT STRANGE
NO EXPIRATION DATE BUT I'M FEELING PAST DUE
HOW MUCH LONGER SHOULD I CHISEL? WILL I EVER BREAK THROUGH?

SOME THINGS JUST SEEM TO NEVER WORK
LIFE'S NOT A B---- BUT IT CAN BE A REAL JERK
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP - STAY STRONG - STAY TOUGH
GRAB LIFE BY THE THROAT - YEAH, I HEARD IT LIKES IT ROUGH

I FOUND MY CONFIDENCE IN SIMPLICITY AND COMFORT IN THE SHADOWS
KINDA HARD TO DROWN WHEN YOU KEEP YOUR EGO SHALLOW
LIFE WAS GETTING ITCHY SO IT DIPPED IT IN THE ALOE
SPLIT MYSELF IN TWO AND SENT THE BAD HALF TO THE GALLOWS
10 YEARS AIN'T A WHOLE LOT CHANGED
BUT I BEEN FOLLOWING MY PASSION - TELL ME, CAN YOU SAY THE SAME?
TOO COOL FOR SCHOOL - TOO SMART TO FAIL
HAVE YOU PAID YOUR DUES, JACK?
THE CHECK IS IN THE MAIL

I'm not a complete psychopath. I enjoy sleeping just as much as any other normal person but I do struggle with the concept of actually falling asleep. My brain is always operating at full speed and the rest of my body is constantly just trying to keep up. I rarely ever fall asleep intentionally. I'm more of a “pass out sitting up at my desk” kinda person and that's basically what this track is about. Being extra ambitious at the salad bar of life. How many plates can I carry? 

Calling it quits is an ironic exploration in personal motivation while simultaneously being very self aware of your situation. For some, “reality” can be a hard pill to swallow but I think the right doses of it make personal productivity and “success” much more attainable.

TIME 3:08
BPM: 120

SAMPLES:
RAY ANTHONY - ROOM 43

03. CALLING IT QUITS

KEEP PULLING ME DOWN BUT I’M READY TO RISE
TARGET IS SPOTTED I GOT IT IN SIGHT
THE ENEMY'S BIGGER BUT MY HAND IS QUICKER
PULL BACK ON THE TRIGGER I’M SAYING GOODNIGHT
FEELING ALRIGHT - FEELING ALL GOOD
TAKIN A BREAK - I WOULD IF I COULD
BUT TIME KEEPS ON SLIPPIN AND MY BRAIN IS MY TRIPPIN
A XANAX PRESCRIPTION - I PROBABLY SHOULD
LIFE ON THE EDGE - LIFE ON THE LINE
TARGET IS SPOTTED THE FACE LOOK LIKE MINE
CALLIN ME CRAZY BUT IT DOESN’T PHASE ME
I’LL SLEEP LIKE A BABY I’M DOING JUST FINE 
SON OF A GUN - SON OF A ——-
CAN’T GO TO BED WHEN I’M FIGHTING THE ITCH
I LAY AWAKE SCHEMING MY REASON FOR BEING
NO TIME TO BE DREAMING - I’M CALLING IT QUITS

I NEVER WANNA SLEEP AGAIN - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
INSOMNIA IS MY BEST FRIEND - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
I NEVER WANNA SLEEP AGAIN - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
YEAH, I’M CALLING IT QUITS - YEAH, I’M CALLING IT QUITS 

NOT ENOUGH TIME - NOT ENOUGH HANDS
NOT ENOUGH MINUTES AND TOO MANY PLANS
THE GAME NEVER ENDS ALL I DO IS PRETEND
THAT I GOT ENOUGH FRIENDS I CAN TURN INTO FANS
GET ON THE GRID  GET ON MY GRIND
WASTED MY YOUTH ON WASTING MY TIME
FEELING SO DIRTY TO SAY THAT I'M THIRTY
BUT IT DOESN'T HURT ME IM FEELING SUBLIME
RACING THE CLOCK RUNNING SO FAST
LOSING MY GRIP - STUCK IN A TRAP
THE TRIGGER I PULL IT BUT SOMEHOW THE BULLET
JUST DOES SOME OL BULLSHIT AND ALWAYS FALLS FLAT 
SON IF A GUN - SON OF A ——-
THIS MIC IS A SHOVEL I'M DIGGING MY DITCH 
THESE GUTS I KEEP POURING IN A BLAZE OF GLORY 
NO END TO MY STORY I'M CALLING IT QUITS 

I NEVER WANNA SLEEP AGAIN - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
INSOMNIA IS MY BEST FRIEND - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
I NEVER WANNA SLEEP AGAIN - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
YEAH, I’M CALLING IT QUITS - YEAH, I’M CALLING IT QUITS

BEEN KICKING AND SCREAMING MY WAY THROUGH MY FEELINGS 
BACK SINCE I PICKED UP THE MIC AND STARTED SPEAKING
AND DONE SOME BAD DEALINGS THAT LEFT MY PRIDE PEELING
FROM MULTIPLE CATAPULTS INTO THIS CEILING 
I'M BRUISED AND I'M BLEEDING BUT HERE I STILL STAND
WITH A MOUNTAIN OF BEATS AND A MIC IN MY FIST
AND TO STAY ON THIS STAGE IS ALL THAT I HAVE PLANNED 
SO NO TIME TO BE DREAMING - I’M CALLING IT QUITS

I NEVER WANNA SLEEP AGAIN - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
INSOMNIA IS MY BEST FRIEND - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
I NEVER WANNA SLEEP AGAIN - I'M CALLING IT QUITS
YEAH, I’M CALLING IT QUITS - YEAH, I’M CALLING IT QUITS

Secrets. Everybody's got ‘em and sometimes we carry certain secrets with us for the our entire lives. The funny thing about secrets though is that they commonly involve another person so it's never really possible to know how truly “secret” your secret is. Unless you have a positive relationship with the concept of “trusting” other people which can be pretty ironic if you think about it… 

How can someone who has ever kept a secret in their life ever really trust another person? That's what this song is about and it's not topic that many people like to talk about. I just think it's important to keep in mind that every single person in your life is just as capable as you are when it comes to making selfish choices.

TIME 3:27
BPM: 150

SAMPLES:
CHELSEA WOLFE - REIGNS

04. BATHWATER

MY BACK AGAINST THIS FENCE - THIS FENCE AGAINST THE CITY
HIDE ME FROM THE LIGHTS - I'M NOT FEELING TOO PRETTY
PUTTING MY MOUTH IN PLACES THAT I KNOW I SHOULDN'T
KNEW I SHOULD STOP BUT I ONCE I STARTED IT I COULDN'T

FUNNY HOW WE GET CAUGHT UP IN OUR BUBBLES
AFRAID OF BREAKING OUT BUT KEEP OURSELVES CAUGHT UP IN TROUBLE
ALWAYS CRAWLING BACK TO THOSE EMPTY SPACES
ALWAYS CRAWLING BACK TO FAMILIAR FACES
NEW LOVE - NEW FUN - NEW ME
ISN'T THAT THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE?
WELL, IF THAT'S REALLY TRUE TELL ME WHAT AM I TO DO
WHEN I'M WAKING UP HUNGOVER AND MY FINGERS SMELL LIKE…

WELL, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT
YEAH, THAT'S ALL I’M GUNNA SAY ABOUT THAT

CHEW YOU UP - SPIT YOU OUT
DRINK YOUR BATHWATER - SEE WHAT THE HYPE IS ALL ABOUT
THIS LIQUID COURAGE MAKES MY BLOOD LESS SHY
INTOXICATED FROM THE MEMORIES OF YOU AND I

WRAP MY HANDS AROUND YOUR THROAT LIKE A NECKLACE - RECKLESS
SQUEEZE A LITTLE A TIGHTER - SPARK A FIRE - IM BREATHLESS
ON THE HUNT - LOOKING AT MY NEXT MEAL
RUN THIS BLADE ALONG YOUR SPINE - NOW TELL ME HOW YA REALLY FEEL?
I'M NOT A BAD GUY - IN FACT I'M PRETTY FAR FROM IT
BUT WE ALL GOT DIRTY LAUNDRY IN THE CORNERS OF OUR CLOSET
IT'S NO WONDER THAT I'M STRUGGLING LEARNING TO TRUST
JUST ASK THE SWORDS FROM THE LAST FEW STONES I'VE TOUCHED 

WELL, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT
YEAH, THAT'S ALL IM GUNNA SAY ABOUT THAT

I THINK I KNOW THIS BEAT - YEAH, I'VE HEARD THIS SONG
AND IF YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE WORDS FEEL FREE TO SING ALONG
WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE - WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE - WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
IF I’M LUCKY THIS AIN’T NOTHIN BUT A MIDLIFE CRISIS
HELL TO PAY - CAN’T HELP BUT WONDER WHAT THE PRICE IS?
I GOT AN APPETITE FOR CROSSING THE LINE 
AND THERE'S NO PLACE IN YOUR WORLD FOR A SOUL LIKE MINE
WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE - WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE - WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

WELL, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT
YEAH, THAT'S ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT

Have you ever found yourself in a room full of people trying way too hard? Sometimes the entire world can feel that way.

I was playing a show with a lineup that I had no business being on when the concept for this song came to me. Watching the other acts and analyzing the whole environment around me felt like I had blindly shown up to some sort of “cool guy” themed Halloween party without being told to dress up. I felt very awkward and everyone around me just looked like a little kid playing dress up rockstar for the night.

It was at that moment I realized how of this much fabricated “Halloween” nonsense I have to socially navigate as an artist. It was really funny actually. Enlightening as well. I had a nice laugh and then wrote a song about it.

TIME 3:59
BPM: 188

SAMPLES:
BEN E KING - DON’T PLAY THAT SONG

05. HALLOWEEN

I AM TOO UNDERDRESSED FOR THIS PARTY

LET'S GO TO THE COSTUME STORE
BUY A LOT OF THINGS THAT I CAN'T AFFORD
FAKE IT TILL YA MAKE IT YEAH I GOTTA RAISE MY GUARD
SPENDING EVERY PAYCHECK LIKE A CHRISTMAS GIFT CARD
GOTTA PLAY THE PART - GOTTA FIT THE ROLE
DO YOU KNOW THE STREET VALUE ON A BOOTLEG SOUL?
FAKE IT TILL YA MAKE IT - WIPE THIS HARD DRIVE CLEAN
GO ONLINE AND DOWNLOAD AN IDENTITY 
THAT HUGS MY EGO IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES
FACE IT - WE ALL WANNA BE THE REPLACEMENT 
LAYING TRACING PAPER ON THE CHALK OUTLINES 
USE THE PAST LIKE A STENCIL TO GENERATE NEW DESIGNS - OH MY

OH NO - WHY ME?
I DON'T FIT IN CAN’T YOU SEE?
EVERYBODY'S DRESSED UP LIKE SOMETHING THAT THEY'LL NEVER BE 
WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME IT WAS HALLOWEEN? 

I'M TOO UNDERDRESSED FOR THIS PARTY 

AMATEUR. GIMMICKS RECYCLED FROM THE BILE
OF THE CONTRIVED PILE OF DIRTY SECRETS IN YOUR SMILE 
AIN'T A GARDEN ON YOUR FACE THICK ENOUGH HIDE THE WASTE OF SPACE
YOUR COMPOSITIONS LEAVE SUCH A BAD TASTE
1ST PLACE BUT ONLY IN THE EYES OF THE IGNORANT
UNINFORMED MINDS STAY BLIND TO MALICIOUSNESS 
INNOCENT LIVES ARE NO PRIZE FOR FOR YOUR WICKEDNESS
DESPERATE LIES CAN'T DISGUISE ALL THE HIDEOUS
TACTICS THAT YOU LOVE TO PRACTICE - GOD
NEVER HAVE I EVER MET A PERFECTIONIST SO FLAWED
ALWAYS ON THE RUN AND I AIN'T TALKING FROM THE LAW
BUT FROM THE PEOPLE WHO DIG DEEP ENOUGH TO FIND OUT YOU'RE A FRAUD - OH LAWWWWWWWD

OH NO - WHY ME?
I DON'T FIT IN CAN’T YOU SEE?
EVERYBODY'S DRESSED UP LIKE SOMETHING THAT THEY'LL NEVER BE 
WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME IT WAS HALLOWEEN? 

I'M TOO UNDERDRESSED FOR THIS PARTY

OUT THE SHADOWS LIKE A MISREPRESENTATION
OF A UNIVERSE SPAWNED FROM THE BLACK AND WHITE PAGES
OF AN UNDERGROUND OBSCURE PUBLICATION
TURNED TO SUIT AND TIE SALARY COMPENSATION
GUILT - I WANNA TANGO WITH THE WITCHES
ITCHIN’ LIKE A SCRATCH OFF - CRUSTY LIKE THE DISHES
PICTURES OF THE MUTANTS GOT EM ETCHED INTO MY REACHES
REPRESENT THE OG - DISREGARD THE LEECHES.

OH NO - WHY ME?
I DON'T FIT IN CAN’T YOU SEE?
EVERYBODY'S DRESSED UP LIKE SOMETHING THAT THEY'LL NEVER BE 
WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME IT WAS HALLOWEEN? 

I'M TOO UNDERDRESSED FOR THIS PARTY 

EVERYTHING IS BASIC
TICKLE THE NOSTALGIA YOU'VE BEEN KEEPING IN THE BASEMENT

My family situation has always been a little awkward. My parents weren't bad people but certain circumstances caused me to keep my distance from them for the majority of my adult life. Everything Uncomfortable is an analysis on my fear of repeating the same cycle of behavior I experienced from my family when I was growing up. Catching myself in a unhealthy lifestyle and being consumed by the same demons I grew up hating. 

The money I mention in the track is a metaphor for my time and energy and the fight I talk about is with my morals and general well-being. Wanting to live the life I was living while simultaneously avoiding the trouble that came with it became too much for me. I traded the guilty pleasures for a more stable lifestyle but I still have a lot to work through with myself and my family.

TIME 3:19
BPM: 168

SAMPLES:
LANA DEL REY - OFF TO THE RACES

06. EVERYTHING UNCOMFORTABLE

I DON'T’ HAVE TIME TO SIT - I DON'T HAVE TIME TO THINK
YET I STILL FIND THE TIME TO STICK MY FACE INSIDE A DRINK
SITTING AT SOME BAR - STRANGERS ON MY LEFT AND RIGHT
SPENDING MONEY THAT I SHOULDN'T - ALWAYS LOOKING FOR A FIGHT
BUT I NEVER HOLD MY FISTS UP TO ANYTHING BUT A MIRROR
BECAUSE I START TO SEE MY DAD AND THAT'S THE ONLY THING I FEAR
THEY SAY I’M WORKING REALLY HARD BUT I NEED TO WORK MORE
CUTTING OFF MY LEGS JUST TO GET A FOOT IN DOOR
BUT WHAT FOR? IT'S NOTHING LESS THAN A MESS
EVERYTHING IS UNCOMFORTABLE - I MUST CONFESS 
I’M STICKING OF STANDING AT THESE PARTIES ALL ALONE
WHILE EVERYONE I KNOW IS IN SOME ROOM SNORTING MAGIC DUST UP THEIR NOSE
IT'S LIKE I NEVER LEFT HOME - MY MAMA STEADY WITH THE NOSEBLEEDS
PLAYING DODGEBALL EVERYDAY WITH HER MOOD SWINGS
IT AIN'T MY PROBLEM BUT IT'S A PROBLEM TO BE AROUND
THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO NEED TO GET UP JUST TO GET DOWN 

LOOK - I DON'T EVER WANNA SEE THEM AGAIN
THEY MAY BE MY FAMILY BUT THEY AIN'T MY FRIENDS

IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE
SO UNCOMFORTABLE
NOTHING LESS THAN A MESS 
EVERYTHING IS UNCOMFORTABLE

DODGIN BULLETS EVER SINCE I WAS A YOUNG BUCK
AND GOT INTO A COUPLE FIST FIGHTS WITH MY BAD LUCK 
LITTLE PUNK WITH A CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER
THAT JUST GREW WITH MY AGE AND NOW THAT CHIP IS LIKE A BOULDER 
CHASING ME DOWNHILL FOR WHAT FEELS LIKE FOREVER 
INDIANA JONES AND THE TEMPLE OF WHATEVER 
THEY SAY I’M DOING WELL BUT I SHOULD'VE DONE MORE
SWAPPING EVERYTHING I WANTED WITH THE THINGS I COULD AFFORD - BUT WHAT FOR?
COULDN’T SHAKE THE TERROR IN MY HOME
SO I TOOK THE SEGA GENNY AND I SPENT MY TIME ALONE
IN A 16 BIT WORLD - LOST IN THE ZONE
REMOVE A MASK - SPIT FIRE - TURN OPPONENTS TO BONES 
OR PULL THE HEAD OFF OF A BODY WITH THE SPINAL CORD ATTACHED 
FLAWLESS VICTORY BUT THERE'S ALWAYS A CATCH
IT REALLY WASN'T A PROBLEM UNTIL I WAS A BIT GROWN
AND REALIZED THAT DIRTY MONEY BUILT THE THE PILLARS OF OUR HOME

LOOK - I DON'T EVER WANNA SEE THEM AGAIN
THEY MAY BE MY FAMILY BUT THEY AIN'T MY FRIENDS

IT'S UNCOMFORTABLE
SO UNCOMFORTABLE
NOTHING LESS THAN A MESS 
EVERYTHING IS UNCOMFORTABLE

I STILL REMEMBER THE NIGHT WOKEN UP BY THE SIGHT
OF THE BLUES ABOVE ME SLEEPING GRIPPING TIGHT A FLASHLIGHT 
DIGGING THROUGH THE DRESSER - ASK ME TO GET OUT THE BED
SO THEY CAN FLIP THE MATTRESS OVER AND JUST TEAR MY ROOM TO SHREDS
I TRIED TO PLAY IT COOL BUT IT'S HARD TO PRETEND
LIKE THAT WAS ANYTHING LESS THE BEGINNING OF THE END
I MADE IT CLEAR - YOU’RE NEVER GONNA SEE ME AGAIN
YEAH, YOU MAY BE MY FAMILY BUT YOU AIN'T MY FRIENDS

Our motivations are too often the results of fabricated ideas implanted by others. Understanding your own strengths, accepting your own weaknesses and staying in your own lane is really the only way people should approach anything productive. 

Selfishness can be used for the power of good. Taking the time necessary to develop yourself and build up your self worth is crucial because that confidence will breed compassion and a much clearer understanding of the world around you. Sometimes people have a negative energy around them and that energy loves to feed off of others. There aren’t many skills in life that one should develop more important than having enough confidence to tell someone like that to “fuck off”. Life is too short for anyone else’s bullshit.

TIME 3:30
BPM: 139

SAMPLES:
THE REMAINS - DON’T LOOK BACK

07. NOSEDIVE

NOW I AIN’T BEEN THE MOST POSITIVE SOUL IN THIS TOWN
I’VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS THAT HAVEN’T MADE ME VERY PROUD
BUT I FOUND A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL ON THE GROUND 
WENT TO THE STORE AND I BOUGHT I MYSELF AN UPSIDE DOWN FROWN
I'M DONE BEING SUCH A GRUMPY OLD BUM
SHIT IS LOOKING UP SO I'M PUTTING DOWN THE GUN
I'M DOING WHAT I LOVE AND I'M LOVING WHAT I DO
TIME TO SHED THIS PESSIMISM - LET POSITIVITY THROUGH  

I'M TOO WISE TO IDOLIZE ANYBODY ELSE
MY ONLY ROLE MODEL IS MY GODDAMN SELF 

I FEEL THE ITCH - I TAKE THE BRIDGE AND I HANG A 45°
FLYING WAY OVER THE RAIL - LIFE IN NOSEDIVE
I AIN'T LEARNING TO FLY BUT I'LL BE ALRIGHT

NOW I AIN'T BEEN THE MOST HONORABLE MAN IN THIS CITY
I'VE DONE A LOT OF THINGS - A LOT OF THINGS THAT WERE NOT PRETTY - ARE YOU WITH ME?
WE ALL GO THROUGH OUR SPELLS OF BEING SH----
BUT I'M CRUSIN’ ON A FIXIE SO THESE GEARS AIN'T SHIFTING
I NEED TO TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR 
GOT 20/20 VISION BUT SOME THINGS ARE NEVER CLEAR 
IF I'M DOING WHAT I LOVE AND I'M LOVING WHAT I DO 
WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL THIS HUNGER IN MY SOUL FOR SOMETHING NEW? 

I'M TOO WISE TO IDOLIZE ANYBODY ELSE
MY ONLY ROLE MODEL IS MY GODDAMN SELF 

I FEEL THE ITCH - I TAKE THE BRIDGE AND I HANG A 45°
FLYING WAY OVER THE RAIL - LIFE IN NOSEDIVE
I AIN'T LEARNING TO FLY BUT I'LL BE ALRIGHT

THESE ARE ODD TIMES - I'M IN THE BLURRED LINES LIVIN’
A MILLENNIAL CURSE IS THE GIFT I'VE BEEN GIVEN 
THEY SAID TO DRINK THE KOOL AID BUT I'VE ONLY BEEN SIPPIN’
THEY SAID TO DRINK THE KOOL AID BUT I'VE ONLY BEEN SIPPIN’ 

I FEEL THE ITCH - I TAKE THE BRIDGE AND I HANG A 45°
FLYING WAY OVER THE RAIL - LIFE IN NOSEDIVE
I AIN'T LEARNING TO FLY BUT I'LL BE ALRIGHT

Some of the best conversations and some of the worst conversations I've ever had in my life were with myself. There's always a very dynamic range of stuff going on in my head and when it gets bad I typically grab a pen and start writing. 

Feedback Loop is a track about the inspirational cliche of “pushing toxic people out of your life to make room for healthy relationships” with the plot twist of these “people” just being a collection of personas I've developed in my head over the years. Learning how to communicate honestly with myself and simultaneously maintain a positive relationship with yourself can be really tricky. Especially when you are are someone who lives several different lives because at the end of the day you only have 2 arms to work with and 24 hours in a day. No matter how many different people live in your brain.

TIME 4:32
BPM: 130

SAMPLES:
SAM GOODWILL - HANGING HEADS

08. FEEDBACK LOOP

STARING AT MY CORPSE
STARING AT MY CORPSE 
WAKE UP AS A SPIRIT STARING AT MY CORPSE

MORE THAN A LITTLE OF A HEADACHE
I GOT A RIDDLE THAT I CAN’T BREAK - 20 TONS
LEG SHAKE FROM THE DEAD WEIGHT
I'M ON A SPEED DATE - MY TIME IS UP
BREAK BREAD WITH THE STRANGERS
PASS THE DANGER - LET ME FILL MY CUP
SKIN SHED FROM THE RAZOR - PLACE A WAGER
CAN YOU CALL MY BLUFF?

FEEDBACK LOOP IN MY BRAIN ALL DAY 
AND I KINDA WANNA POP IT LIKE A BOTTLE CHAMPAGNE
TOAST TO THE MOST HIGH FIVE TO THE STRANGE
D.I.Y. COWBOY - HOME ON THE RANGE
COUNT DOWN DAYS… 3 - 2 - 1 
HOW MANY LEFT BEFORE I DRAIN MY FUNDS?
LOCKED IN A DARK ROOM LETTING OUT BLOOD 
WITH NO EPITAPH TO BE FOUND IN THE FLOOD

SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID
BUT TRY TO TELL THAT TO THE VOICES INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD
I GOTTA WAKE UP - WAKE UP BEFORE I FALL OFF COURSE
BEFORE I WAKE UP AS A SPIRIT STARTING AT MY CORPSE

STARING AT MY CORPSE
STARING AT MY CORPSE 
WAKE UP AS A SPIRIT STARING AT MY CORPSE

MORE THAN A LITTLE OF A NIGHTMARE
I GOT A PROBLEM THAT I CAN'T SHARE - WISH ME LUCK
REPAIR? NO I DON'T CARE
LEAVE IT ALL THERE - LET IT FILL ME UP
POTHOLES ON THE STEADY- I HIT EM HEAVY
MY WHEELS BEEN STUCK
TRY NOT TO GET HEADY - BREAK THE LEVEE 
I’M GUNNA SPILL MY GUTS

FEEDBACK LOOP IN MY BRAIN ALL WEEK 
LIKE A NEVER ENDING GAME OF HIDE AND SEEK
TOAST TO THE MOST - HIGH FIVE TO THE FREAKS
UNDERGROUND REBEL STRADDLING THE PEAK
COUNT DOWN BREATHS… 3 - 2 - 1
HOW MANY LEFT BEFORE I DRAIN MY LUNGS?
LOCKED IN A DUNGEON COMING UNDONE 
WITH EVERY DOUBT INSIDE OF ME PULLING AT THE PLUG

SOME THINGS ARE BETTER LEFT UNSAID
BUT TRY TO TELL THAT TO THE VOICES INSIDE OF YOUR HEAD
I GOTTA WAKE UP - WAKE UP BEFORE I FALL OFF COURSE
BEFORE I WAKE UP AS A SPIRIT STARTING AT MY CORPSE

NIGHT TIME - FALLING AGAIN
HARD TO LOSE YOUR RHYTHM WHEN YOU DANCE WITH THE DEAD
THINKING THAT THESE VISIONS WERE JUST ALL IN MY HEAD
BUT THEN I WOKE UP WITH THE REAPER NEXT TO ME IN MY BED
UNDONE - PULLING THE THREAD
SO FAR FROM IMMORTAL BUT I'M PLAYING PRETEND
IF HEAVEN HAS AN INBOX HERE'S THE MESSAGE I'LL SEND
"I DON'T SEE IT WORKING OUT BUT I HOPE WE'LL STAY FRIENDS"

STARING AT MY CORPSE
STARING AT MY CORPSE 
WAKE UP AS A SPIRIT STARING AT MY CORPSE

For as ridiculous as these lyrics are on paper, this track is probably the best picture I could possibly paint of myself at this point in my life. It's hyper self-aware, hella cryptic and super absurd. It deals with the themes of embracing one's immaturity for the power of personal productivity. Channeling your youth and embracing immaturity while still accepting responsibility for your actions. 

Your place on this planet is nothing more than your place on this planet and the game of life is all about how you play it. If you want something you have to work for it. Even if you never reach your goal I think the beauty lies in the journey and not so much the destination. Most people just move onto the “next thing” as soon as they get what they want anyways so it’s important to appreciate the moment while you are still in it.

TIME 5:18
BPM: 160

09. WHATEVER I WANT

FRESH CROP - THROW THE VEGGIES IN THE POT
DROP A LITTLE BIT OF HOT SAUCE JUST TO SPICE THE PLOT
NON STOP - ON TOP SPOT THE RECORD SHOP
DROP A HUNDO ON A BUNDO OF THE HOTTEST WAX THEY GOT  
ADULT? - KINDA
MAYBE? - NOT REALLY  
STILL NO WHIP BUT MY TOY GAME SILLY
GOT A COUPLE TURTLES I COULD TRADE IN FOR A WHEEL OR TWO
DUMP THE WHOLE LOT AND WALK OUT WITH A BMW
HOW ARE YOU BRIAN? - I CAN'T COMPLAIN
OPEN UP THE CITY PAPER AND I SEE MY NAME
”BEST WHATEVER” - KEEP MY HEAD OUTTA SPACE
SEEMS A LITTLE FAR FETCHED BUT I TAKE IT WITH GRACE - SAY THANKS
BUT TRY TO KEEP THE FOCUS ON MYSELF
KEEP THE EGO AT LEVEL BENEFICIAL TO MY HEALTH
CUZ I GOT SOME LAZY PEERS TOO BUSY PRACTICING THEIR STEALTH
WHO DON'T MAKE A LOTTA NOISE AND IT REFLECTS UPON THEIR WEALTH - TAKE NOTES. 

HOW'D I GET WHAT I GOT?
HOW’D YOU GET IT? HOW’D YOU GET IT?
HOW'D I GET WHAT I GOT?
HOW’D YOU GET IT? HOW’D YOU GET IT?
HOW'D I GET WHAT I GOT?
HOW’D YOU GET IT? HOW’D YOU GET IT?
I DID WHATEVER I WANT - TAKE NOTES

INSERT THE COIN - PUSH THE BUTTON
YOU GOTTA SAVE THE QUEEN THEY GOT LOCKED UP IN THE DUNGEON
SO YOU STEP ON YOU GOTTA JUST TO MAKE IT TO YOUR GOAL
BUT THEY DON'T TELL YOU ALL THAT STEPPIN’S GUNNA CHIP AWAY YOUR SOUL
THAT'S A METAPHOR - FIGURE IT OUT
A LITTLE RABID FOAM KNOWLEDGE GROWIN’ OUT OF MY MOUTH - DON'T DROWN
LICK IT UP - LICK IT UP - BABY, LICK IT UP
HEATHER WITH THE WAKE UP CALL DRINKIN’ A CUP OF THAT BLUE STUFF
FACE FIRST - CRASH THROUGH THE TABLE
FAKE A SUICIDE AND FORGE THE FONTS IF YOU’RE ABLE
MAKE INSIDES TWIST UP FROM THE FABLE
THAT PUBLIC ACCESS CAN NEVER BE CABLE
HEIR TO THE THRONE - GLARE ON MY PHONE
EYES HALF CLOSED FROM THE BOILED SIMCOE
CASH OUT - TAKE THE CHECK - PAY YOUR DUES
GET LOST IN THE SUBWAY - BREAK THE RULES - TAKE NOTES

HOW'D I GET WHAT I GOT?
HOW’D YOU GET IT? HOW’D YOU GET IT?
HOW'D I GET WHAT I GOT?
HOW’D YOU GET IT? HOW’D YOU GET IT?
HOW'D I GET WHAT I GOT?
HOW’D YOU GET IT? HOW’D YOU GET IT?
I DID WHATEVER I WANT - TAKE NOTES

AND YOU CAN HAVE THIS TO
NEVERMIND WHAT THEY SAY AND JUST GO DO YOU

TAKE NOTES

GO N GRAB THE WINDEX NEAR
SQUEEZE THE HANDLE WITH THE NOZZLE POINTED DIRECT AT YOUR EAR - LET IT SOAK
NOW MAYBE YOU CAN WIPE AWAY THE FEAR - NO JOKE
NOW MAYBE YOU CAN HEAR ME CLEAR - TAKE NOTES
PICK UP THE CONTROLLER AND SAY AM I GUNNA BEAT THE GAME OR JUST WATCH THE LET'S PLAY?
YOUR VOICE GET THE CLOG OUT YOUR THROAT
YOUR CHOICE - SINK, SWIM OR FLOAT? - TAKE NOTES

I’M DEAD - NUMB FROM TONGUE TO TOE 
THROW A TAG ON IT - YEAH, I’M READY TO GO
EVERYBODY SAYS THAT I’M THE HARDEST WORKER THEY KNOW
I WISH THEY WORKED A LITTLE HARDER AT COMING OUT TO MY SHOWS
SO MAYBE I CAN CATCH A BREAK - MAKE NO MISTAKE
I DON'T TAKE NOTHING FOR GRANTED - I'M JUST FEELIN THE SHAKES
IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME - COMIN’ IN A CIRCLE STEADY RUNNIN’
MIDDLE FINGER UP - THUMB ON THE DETONATE BUTTON - TAKE NOTES
Y'ALL DON’T WANNA BE LIKE ME
WORK AS HARD AS I HAVE WITH THE RESULTS I’VE SEEN
WITHOUT THIS I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHO I’D BE
BUT I'VE HAD ALL I CAN TAKE OF MODERN MODESTY

NOBODY IN THE WORLD HAS “THOUSANDS OF FRIENDS”
THE NUMBERS ARE ALL LIES BUT WE ALL PLAY PRETEND
MUSIC JOURNALISTS ACT LIKE THEY KNOW WHERE IT'S AT OFF THE POPULARITY OF A SOUNDCLOUD TRACK - NEWS FLASH
THE SAME CATS WHO WON'T “PAY TO PLAY” ARE THE SAME DAMN CATS WHO PAY FOR PLAYS
IT'S A MINDGAME - AIN'T A DAMN THING REAL
LOOK, I'VE BEEN HERE FOR A MINUTE - I’M GUNNA SPEAK HOW I FEEL

I AIN'T EVER GUNNA QUIT - I JUST TALK A LOT OF SHIT
I CAN REALLY BE A BRAT BUT I'M ALWAYS GUNNA SPIT
I AIN'T EVER GUNNA QUIT - I JUST TALK A LOT OF SHIT
I CAN REALLY BE A DICK BUT I'M ALWAYS GUNNA SPIT
GET OVER IT 

All good things in life come with a side of bullshit that you have to deal with. I just try to keep my life perspective in check so my expectations don’t ever drift into a toxic place. I’m thankful for everything I have but I still wrestle with some pretty heavy anxiety. I constantly have this strange voice in my head telling me that I’m doing everything “wrong”. 

I juggle a lot of responsibilities and spend so much time “working” that I sometimes have to ask myself if I’m really living life to my fullest? Learning how to control my anxiety and stress while remaining productive enough to keep myself happy is a huge issue. I know these aren’t unique problems to me though. I just want to be a healthy spirit for the great people around me and live a less creatively selfish life moving forward. Hopefully I can figure that shit out.

TIME 4:32
BPM: 164

SAMPLES:
YEASAYER - MADDER RED

10. CONTROLLING FEAR: PART ONE

SIDE STEP THE ICE PATCH - I'M ON A NEW PATH
TRYING MY BEST NOT TO SLIP INTO A BLOODBATH
YOU CAN DO THE MATH - ANOTHER WEEK PAST 
STILL NEED TO SHOWER AND FIND THE POWER
TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT - CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT
IT DOESN'T SMELL BAD - WHAT'S THE FUSS ALL ABOUT?
I'VE BEEN FLIRTING WITH THE DIRT EVER SINCE I SPILLED THE SAUCE ON MY SHIRT 
THOUGHT IT LOOKED KINDA GOOD AND MAYBE MORE WOULDN'T HURT
FASHION - I GOT THE BELLY OF THE BEAST
JUMPED UP A SIZE SIPPIN’ TOO MUCH YEAST
PICKED A COUPLE CHERRIES AND I SOAKED EM IN THE BLEACH
STILL DON'T EAT A LOT OF FRUIT BUT LIFE IS KINDA PEACH 
I REACH FOR THE STARS WAY PAST MARS  
ROTATE KALEIDOSCOPE - SPIT DUMB BARS   
LINK IN THE COMMENTS - HUSTLE MY ART
LINKS IN THE COMMENTS NEVER GO FAR  

HOW FAR? NOT FAR.
HOW FAR? NOT FAR.

SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TOO MUCH
THEY NEED MORE FRIENDS - THEY NEED MORE TO EAT
SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TOO MUCH
THEY NEED TO PUT A CLICK TRACK ON THEIR LIFE SO THEY CAN TRY AND MAYBE KEEP UP WITH THE BEAT

TRUTH IS I COULD USE A LITTLE LESS
BURN MY CALENDAR - FREE MY STRESS

MERRY CHRISTMAS - HAPPY NEW YEAR
ANOTHER NOTCH IN THE BELT - NO MORE TEARS
I RAN OUT ABOUT A FEW YEARS BACK
BEEN MOVING AT A SNAIL'S PACE - FOLLOW MY TRACKS
IT AIN'T HARD TO GET LOST IN THE VOID 
WHERE STATUS IS DEFINED BY A CELLULAR TOY
I'M AN ANDROID - BUT BITE THE APPLE TIME TO TIME 
TRY NOT TO TUSSLE WITH THE MUGGLES - KEEP MY WAND INSIDE 
PATIENCE - I GOT IT ALL UNDER CONTROL
BOWLED A COUPLE GUTTERS NOW IT SEEMS I'M ON A ROLL
LUCKY FOR MY SOUL MEDIOCRITY IS PULL
TO GET THE BIG THUMBS UP IN MY SOCIAL HOLE
GOLD - EVERYBODY'S DIGGIN’
REAL RHYTHM LIKE A CURB EVERYBODY KEEPS TRIPPIN’
LINK IN THE COMMENTS - TICKLE THESE SCARS
LINKS IN THE COMMENTS NEVER GO FAR 

HOW FAR? NOT FAR.
HOW FAR? NOT FAR.

SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TOO MUCH
THEY NEED MORE FRIENDS - THEY NEED MORE TO EAT
SOME PEOPLE JUST NEED TOO MUCH
THEY NEED TO PUT A CLICK TRACK ON THEIR LIFE SO THEY CAN TRY AND MAYBE KEEP UP WITH THE BEAT

TRUTH IS I COULD USE A LITTLE LESS
BURN MY CALENDAR - FREE MY STRESS

OUTCAST FROM THE OUTCASTS - IT'S KINDA WEIRD 
HOW LONG I'VE HAD TO QUESTION LOOKING IN THE MIRROR
AIN'T THE TYPE TO PIGGYBACK OFF OF A PEER
BUT DOES THAT MAKE ME AN IDIOT OR SOME TYPE OF PIONEER?
NEVER FELT IN A PLACE I BELONG
NEVER REALLY CARED - MY STUBBORNNESS IS STRONG
BUT SOMETIMES I GET A TICKLE FROM THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE WRONG
TO DECREASE THE BITS AND TAKE IT BACK TO THE PONG

THEY SAY TO JUST BE YOURSELF
THEY SAY TO JUST BE YOURSELF
THEY SAY TO JUST BE YOURSELF
BUT THE WAY THAT I AM AIN'T GOOD FOR MY HEALTH

BE YOURSELF
BE YOURSELF
BE YOURSELF
BE YOURSELF